For Women Who Want to Write - Chapter Four

Chapter Four: The Secret to Writing Freely Without Caring About the Opinions of Others

I mentioned that there’s a foolproof solution to dropping self-consciousness when starting to write. Here it is.

What would take away all of your nervous feelings about people reading your writing? The answer: something that ensures they wouldn’t know it’s you who wrote the story.

I’m talking about using a pseudonym, also known as a pen name.

Using a pen name provides anonymity and therefore perfect freedom. It’s easy and costs nothing to do. And you can use as many pen names as you can come up with.

Pen names are allowed if you choose to self-publish on Amazon KDP, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, Kobo Books, Google Play Books, Draft2Digital, et al. (And yes, payments from sales will be made to you as the account holder under your real legal name.)

How freeing is this? If you want to try your hand at gay erotic romance with BDSM elements in a story set in outer space, now there’s nothing stopping you. Or how about a dark thriller with plenty of gore, or horror with a lot of sex scenes.

Or maybe a more conventional story. If nobody in your circle knows it’s you who wrote it, doesn’t that completely remove the pressure?

Another plus to using a pen name is that you can reveal your identity as the author at any time. It’s your choice when to do it - or never to do it.

This means you can develop your skills as a storyteller and writer in private, while publishing your work to the world if you so desire.

Some of the advantages of pen names:

• Publish in complete anonymity and privacy
• Write what you want without reservation or hesitation
• Try different genres using different pen names
• Choose when (if ever) to reveal yourself as the writer behind the pen name
• Write safely behind a pen name if your work life might be compromised otherwise (for example: you work for a religious organization and write explicit erotic romance)
• Using a pen name continues the “move in silence” principle to your advantage. Think of the complications that arose in the past when you told people you were writing a book; how you had to justify or defend the act of taking the time to do this thing that was important to you; how you fumbled for answers when they asked “How’s the book going?”; and how you had to deal with their expectations of the finished result. Now visualize yourself behind a protective wall as you work to establish your writing chops, taking as long as you need and being comfortable as you do it.

Too Busy

Let’s go through some more excuses for not writing. As discussed before, I don’t have enough time is less of a valid excuse when most of the story construction can be achieved before you ever sit down at the computer.

I’m too busy is related to not having enough time and the same solution applies to both. Drafting a rough outline of the story, even a basic one, can help alleviate the time-crunch feeling.

Know that once your story starts developing in your head, momentum is created. Ideas will fly fast and furious. Take notes. When you finally sit down to write, it will go smoother than you think.

Another common reason for not writing is...

Too Old

I’m too old is an excuse that bemuses me. I’m in my sixties, which used to be considered “old,” though that perception is changing in today’s society. I don’t see the logic behind not doing something simply because one is old, particularly something like writing that isn’t even physically strenuous.

As time ticks by, you’re not getting any younger and neither am I. The unspoken ending to I’m too old is...and it’s too late. This is untrue.

It’s only too late if you’re dead. Barbara Sher, author of It’s Only Too Late if You Don’t Start Now: How to Create Your Second Life at Any Age, said in that book that the biggest question of your adult life is: ”How do you live now that you know you will not live forever?”

If you are an older woman, try to speed up and get going on what matters to you. Not out of a sense of panic, but in recognition of the fact that your dreams matter, and if writing is on that list of dreams then you deserve to do it and make it come true.

Helpful Tips – Pen Names, I’m Too Busy, and I’m Too Old

• If you decide to use a pen name, have fun with it. Think up names that sorta kinda hint that the writer might be you, for your own amusement. Think up many names, one for each genre. You can use each name for one book or many books and stop using it whenever you like.
• The social media and marketing tools that you would employ if you wrote under your real name also work for pen names. In other words, you can have a Facebook author page, Twitter/X account, etc., under your pen name. You can write blog posts under your pen name. It can become an alter ego in every sense. It can be fun!
• Excuses of busyness can be masks for avoidance or resistance. Take some quiet time and try to figure out if this is true for you. There are legitimate uses of time specific to your life - and then there’s the rest of your time. Look under the surface, but with kindness. If you’ve been avoiding pursuing the writing dream, you have reasons, none of which deserve condemnation, though it’s time to start letting them go.

Exercises

1. Sit down and dream up as many pen names as you can. Have fun with it. Imagine what stories you would write under each name. This can actually give rise to more story ideas. Write down all the pen names. Allow this exercise to free you from the genre or universe of stories you thought were the only stories you were going to write and let it expand your horizons - because maybe a different “you” might write completely different stories.
2. I’m too busy often bears scrutiny as an excuse. Does endless scrolling of YouTube (I’ve done this) or social media count as being too busy? We all need downtime but not all downtime activities are of the same value. You know how you spend your time. (Or do you? Keep track of your activities for one week. Write down the time spent on social media, etc. Resolve to use at least some of that time for the dreamtime instead, the internal story construction time that births your story.)
3. Being older is a challenge but also a gift. It’s a gift because you can look back and see all that you’ve accomplished in life, but at the same time, logic tells you that the number of years remaining is limited. I would suggest that you use this to spur yourself on, seeing age as simply another one of life’s challenges, just like those you’ve handled well up to now. It might be helpful to write a list of challenges you’ve met and overcome in your life. Age is really just another one of them.

Next chapter will be posted tomorrow